Shelby Swink met her ex-fiancé in college back in 2011. The 23-year-old got engaged by March 2014, and planned to have her wedding in November.
“I poured my heart and soul into the wedding plans, because I wanted the day that would celebrate our love and commitment for each other to be absolutely amazing,” she told BuzzFeed.
But things suddenly took a turn for the worse. When the week of the wedding arrived, her fiancé unexpectedly told her that he was no longer in love with her and didn’t want to get married.
“Bam. My dreams of marrying and having kids with what I thought was the man I would spend the rest of my life with vanished,” she said.
“I was in complete shock and had no idea what to think or do. I was numb. The next few days were a blur of calling guests and canceling vendors.”
Swink has expressed her gratitude towards friends and family that supported her during this time. Still, none of them were sure about what to do or how to act.
And that’s when she came up with the idea. She decided to have a “trash the dress” photo shoot where her friends would ruin her wedding dress, and take fun photos while doing so.
As Swink puts it: “A pity party was the farthest thing from what I wanted or needed.”
“At first it sounded crazy, but after really thinking about it, I knew that it was the perfect thing for me… After all, it was just a dress, a material item.”
“Nov. 1 was supposed to be a fun and happy day surrounded by friends and family who loved me,” she continued. “I decided that I would not let my ex-fiancé’s mistake of letting me go take that away from me.”
Both her parents were also involved in the photo shoot.
“My mom is the one who paid for the dress, so I was nervous as to how she would react when I told her what I wanted to do with it. But both of them were 100% supportive and wanted to be there for me.”
Her dad even brought some champagne and cigars.
Her bridesmaids gladly participated too.
“I couldn’t have asked for a better group of friends.”
Swink also put her dress up on display in a local bridal shop in Memphis. A portion of the proceeds from her dress sales will be going to a local nonprofit called Be Free Revolution.
“I can’t even describe how liberating and cathartic the experience was for me… The moment the first bit of paint hit my dress I was free.”
Despite her recent heartbreak, Swink remains positive.
“Instead of lying down and letting life trample over me, I decided to get up and face it head-on,” she said.
And here’s what she has to say to her ex: “Thank you for sparing me greater pain and loss down the road. Thank you for pushing me to realize my own strength…”
“…Thank you for teaching me that no one can take away my happiness. Thank you for letting me go so I can one day experience true reciprocated love. THANK YOU!”
